Saturday, April 23, 2011
♥ For such as us
It's only 10:29PM now and I won't say I'm tired but I'm dreading doing work/sleeping late tonight, and in fact I think I shall not sleep too late tonight. Rather, I'll wake up earlier to do work, though that will probably fail but right now I just can't be bothered. All right two options - start work at 11PM, do work for an hour, sleep at 12AM, wake up at 7AM, do work until 8AM when I've to go tuition. Alternatively, I could start work at 11PM, work for four hours (at most) until 3AM, then wake up at 8AM. I'd then get 5 hours of sleep. Hmm can't decide. Nah okay I'm going to sleep at 12AM 'cos I'm going to sleep with my sisters 'cos my room is currently dusty and ant-infested (though it will probably continue being so and annoying the life out of me).
Okay what should I do in that one hour (or more)? Uh well honestly I don't want to do anything - think I'll do geog notes in that one hour tomorrow morning..I really really should catch up on my bio but my brain rejects the whole idea of bio :( Need help desperately any takers? Note: I may puke. Seriously though that aside, I need help for bio and I'm like argh don't even want to look at it right now.. Could do Chinese tingxie or the compo..hmm that's not too bad an idea actually. But now? Ugh or you know what I could just sleep now and wake up at 7AM to do work tomorrow. Ooh sounds good XD
Easter service tomorrow and it was good. I thought it was a bit too Singaporean to be really good, but it works anyway.
This easter, I've just been reminded of God's love again. I know I've said this many times in the past, but just now during Jesus' "crucification" there was just this choking feeling that rose in my throat (which I was unfamiliar to, by the way) and I don't know how to describe it! Wincing and covering my eyes throughout, and while it may have seemed that I was doing so due to the graphic nature of the scene, but I wasn't. I just ... couldn't take it.
It's Easter, like I said, and maybe it's time to remember God's love. It really hasn't been a few easy weeks, what with my results, and with all the stresses of PTs and AAs and SAs and lots of rubbish I see no need in talking about now. All that has really affected me (maybe) more than I have let on.
I am a Child of God, and that reassurance is more important than any grade in my life :)
And I'm good, good, good to goEDIT: I got lost :( Sad face. With Jiehan. LOL. Two of us were just blur & trying to find the bus stop and stupid stuffs. And I almost got fined. Long story. First time I get checked and I get fined. Hmph.
I got to get away
Get away from all of my mistakes
So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night
And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
Consequences
Oh God, don't make me face up to this
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
Cause I know that I let you down
And I don't want to deal with that
It just now hit me this is more than just a set back
And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn't get that
And every trace of momentum is gone
And this isn't turning out the way I want
And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end
And I spent all last night
Tearing down
Every stoplight
And stop sign in this town
Now I think there might
Be no way to stop me now
I'll get away despite
The fact I'm so weighed down
All of my escapes have been exhausted
I thought I had a way but then I lost it
And my resistance was once much stronger
And I know I can't go on like this much longer
When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, "I miss you son. Come home"
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more than
The love I'd wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told so's
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Because I know that I let you down
Now I don't wanna deal with that
6:50 AM
