Friday, March 18, 2011

Coughing & sneezing & feeling completely horribly sick right now. And yet I don't feel horrible. I did, maybe, and for a while there was just this strange rising emotion I was unable to stifle - stress. Blogging here pretty much equals to me saying that I've overcome that [for now at the very least]. Either way, I just said it.

I do wish I hadn't procrastinated, but don't I always? It's that temptation that never fails to get to me, though I wish I'd be able to withstand it. We could always try a procrastination-fast, but I honestly don't see how that'd work.

234am. sitting at the computer sniffing to myself

I puked earlier - must be gastric or something. It was green. The sight of that made me want to puke again. I did, anyway. It's strange, because I never ate anything resembling green today. Blue, yes. My sister thinks it's gastric acids + my drink [which was blue] = yellow + blue = green, but I'm not entirely sure it works that way. Then again, unless I've been poisoned, it's the best explanation we could think of, so I'll have to settle with that.

Anyway the reason why I'm speaking slightly more formal than my usual is that I just came of Laura's blog, and [what's new] she's left me feeling immature in all my posts. Maybe I haven't exactly been immature, but her blog always does that effect. Back to the point: I got this from her blog, and it's completely amazing.

[According to her it's from someone's wp]

I was sitting in st. theresa’s columbarium, because it’s a good place to think and reflect and be alone, especially when your catechists have herded you and your batch of 55 confirmants out to have some time in solitude. I found a perfect bench, all old metal and cool as things often are in the morning, and sat down, delighted that despite dawn’s light drizzle, the bench was completely dry. then I invited the holy spirit to come, ready to bombard it with questions like why wasn’t I slain and how does one find meaning in life. then I waited for something big. something like a thousand cymbals crashing into a thousand cymbals and trumpets blaring.

but I didn’t get my firework display. as I waited, trying to suppress my impatience with thumbing through my bible, a gentle breeze picked up and rustled its way through the columbarium, picking up dried leaves as it went. then I suddenly remembered what my catechist had said, during one of our reflection sessions the day before. the story of elijah and how he waited for God to come and knew that God was not in the earthquake that cracked open the earth, or the fire that swirled its fiery wings through, but in the small breeze.

I guess that the holy spirit comes to different people at different times and in different ways. and now all I need to do is to hold onto this, and let it sustain me through the next three weeks and the next eternity after that, because faith is hard, is so absolutely hard, but with God on my side, all things are possible.

It's something quite amazing. She has amazing friends, and I'm not surprised. (coughs) Referring to no one in particular, of course.

241am. dashes to toilet with mucus flowing out of nose like nobody's business

243am. decidedly annoyed at the way my nose is feeling

244am. goes to sleep and sets alarm for 6AM

PS 华文好好玩哦！