Wednesday, October 20, 2010

4 kinds of friends we need in our lives

1. The Prophet

The prophet is the type of person that calls us on any misguided attempts at something, makes us accountable for our behavior, and prompts us to be honest, even when that is not easy. The prophet challenges us, and can be a royal pain at times, but ultimately helps us to find freedom. Says Wicks, "Prophets point! They point to the fact that it doesn't matter whether pleasure or pain is involved, the only thing that matters is that we seek to see and live 'the truth' because only it will set us free."

2. The Cheerleader

To balance out the provocation and questioning of a prophet, a person also must have a few cheerleader friends: folks who offer unconditional love, support, and acceptance. Wicks says we need the encouragement of the cheerleader as much as the criticism and feedback of the prophet because "burnout is always around the corner when we don't have people who are ready to encourage us, see our gifts clearly, and be there for us when our involvement with people, their sometimes unrealistic demands, and our own crazy expectations for ourselves threaten to pull us down."

3. The Harasser

After we've been criticized and loved, we need to laugh. That's why we need harassers, the third kind of friend, who helps us to see the humor in life's frustrations and calamities. They help us to mock our unrealistic expectations, of ourselves and of others. Says Wicks, "This type of friend helps us regain and maintain perspective."

4. Guides

And finally, we need guides. Listeners. People who will, according to Wicks, "search and look for nuances in what we share with them to help us to uncover some of the 'voices' that are unconsciously guiding our lives, especially the ones that make us hesitant, anxious, fearful, and willful."